The Gift of Shame

One recurring theme from my psychedelic explorations over the last few years has been judgment, shame and shadow.

More than a few times I’ve found myself ushered into a scene of judgement where my life is reviewed in detail. And not just the headlines, mind you. These experiences have dug into the details of my inner thoughts and the motives behind seemingly innocuous behaviors.

There is nothing quite like the stripped-naked-soul-scrubbing-smackdown you sometimes get in a high dose psychedelic journey. Make no mistake, this is no fun. But the opportunity to look your darkness square in the face is precisely the key to overcoming its oppression. I don’t think there is anything more dangerous than people who actually believe they’re all just “love and light”.

Sooner or later on the spiritual path, we must make friends with our own inner enemy. This allows us to own the parts of ourselves we often detest and judge in others. Until we finally grow up and identify the shit within ourselves, we continue to project it outside us. But when we shine the light of awareness on our shadow, it ceases to be a shadow at all. With the help of some self-compassion we can find the strength to love our broken parts which simultaneously allows us to extend forgiveness to others.

This is why shame is such a gift. When I feel shame for living or acting out of alignment with my own deep values, I feel ashamed. I SHOULD feel ashamed. That’s my soul saying I’m dis-integrating.

Shame reveals to us our unknown face.

It reminds us, hey, this is part of me. I did these things. And if I can’t face that truth, I run the risk of repeating similar mistakes.

I also know I can never really be free without dancing with the devil within. So bring it on. I’m saying yes to shame and it’s teaching. I welcome the truth of my own darkness that I might triumph over it with compassion, love and forgiveness.