Holding Me Back

This first pic is from 2013. I was sitting in my 67 bus looking over the ocean in Encinitas and daydreaming of moving here. For years I came up with every reason that it was IMPOSSIBLE and how I COULDN'T do it. Instead, we took every chance we could to run down here and spend a few days. They were always too short.

This second pic is the view from our new ritual of morning sunrises over the ocean. I still can't believe we are here now. Is this real life?

Do I wish we had done this earlier? Not really. The way it all worked out made us who we are. And I dig them. And what good is "shudda"? The past is only a story anyway. Buddha teaches that each day we are reborn and what we do today is what matters most.

The lesson for me, as I have reflected, is that I'm usually the one holding me back. And when I was ready to embrace my own sovereign life and take responsibility for my own happiness, that stingy COULDN'T magically became a optimistic COULD and then a confident WILL and then a joyful DID.

Maybe we can all remember that "outcome is uncertain" isn't the same as IMPOSSIBLE.

In order to come to the knowledge you have not, you must go by the way you know not.
- St John of the Cross