When your own body betrays you
It is off-putting, to be sure.
Like walking in on a cheating lover
its a first class punch in the gut
and you wonder how you didn’t see it coming.
You might try and explain it away
or point out the silver lining.
Maybe you’ll paint over its behavior
with thinly veiled excuses…
“I pushed him to do it”.
But once everyone else is out of sight
you’ll fall on your knees and weep a bit
– even if you’re not sure why.
Is it because you feel violated? robbed?
or do you simply shudder
because its been like, forever
since you’ve inhabited your own life like this?
And somehow you’re attending
your own slow-motion baptism
not of water
but of blood and flesh and bone.