another young man tells his story
before his heart
is even broken one time
like a stand up
who forgets his punchline
– David Bazan
“I have nothing fresh to say.” That was always my response when friends would ask me when i was going to write. It seemed to me, that there was already plenty of books and blogs out there on all possible topics (and quite a few about nothing) that the world wasn’t really aching for yet another self-indulgent monologue by someone who hadn’t even hit their forties yet. What did I even know about life, anyway?
But things have certainly changed. No, I’m still not quite forty yet (though the grey in my hair is certainly firing warning shots across the bow and i’m less likely to go shirtless on the beach these days) and I’m still convinced that whatever I’m about to say has already been said better by others, with better grammar and less run on sentences.
No doubt, many of my thoughts here will still be self-indulgent, rife with errors, and even just plain wrong, but I’m no longer concerned about those limitations. This is just what’s in me, and it wants to come out. So dear reader, whether you find the following entries helpful, useless, or flat-out offensive, my ultimate point lies beyond. This blog is for me. To nail on the door of my heart when a corner has been turned. To process the constant reminders that I’m not done being a student of this mystery that is my life, that growth always requires the ability to let go of what was and take hold of what could be. And finally, a digital monument never to forget what brought me here.
So here’s an invitation. For those on their own descent into the maelstrom of unknowing. For those ready to think about things differently. And for those who happen to have time to waste on the internet. Here’s a few of my thoughts, musings, rants, poems and my little human story. It’s really all I have to offer.